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A NOTE OF MARRIAGE II
During the Wedding Fair, I saw lots of young couple preparing for the wedding. They are so detail while the wedding industries now offering so many interesting services and products.
Day by day, details for decoration is more luxurious and surprisingly the bride and the groom are willing to spend so much like money is no option. Not to mention they do pre-wedding photos overseas like in Japan, Australia, even Paris and etc. Wow! I wish I had this kind of wedding long time ago. Hahhahahah. And when I look at the invitations, they are so beautiful and of course some of them are very very pricey. It take months or sometimes more than a year to prepare the actual wedding. Sometimes it can be stressful and take a lot of energy during the whole thing.
Now, the question is how hard are the couple willing to work on after years of marriages. I hate to say I'm very sad to see and hear lots of young couples now are so easy to get divorced after all the efforts they spend to prepare for their wedding. Of course later in their marriages, they find differences maybe in lifestyles and in principle thoughts.
There's no such perfect marriage anywhere without struggle and problems in this world. Marriages need to be worked on. It's not something that just going to flow perfectly by itself. It's a learning arena for every body to grow more and more mature. Patience is tested almost every time. It's good to teach them to be more patience and more humble, take away their ego and less selfish. Those things are benefits for those who realize that these bring them to be a better person than make it sounds like a disaster.
I can say I'm glad I've been to that phase before, even until today I'm still tested in similar circumstances. Especially I'm a wife, so I have to submit myself to my husband. That's a law of nature and that's also the application from the word of God. We women are the neck, not the head. the head of the family is the husband. But since this is the era of equal rights, sometimes it becomes misplaced and often misunderstood by a lot of women. Indeed, the women now are so awesomely smart, strong and brilliant, but it's impossible to have two heads in one family. A big ship is steered by only one steering-wheel. Men's pride has to be maintained because it's a very sensitive issue. If the pride's hurt, they usually doesn't function the way they should be as a husband,as a father and as a business men. They may have less confident to meet more people or lobbying for a new business opportunities. They may do something annoying just to get even or to show they have more power. For men: Sorry,no offense. So,there's nothing to loose for the wives to humble before the husbands in order to make the marriage to be ideally working and also giving good examples to the children. Nobody wins, nobody looses. It's a win win solution for both sides. Giving is better than receiving.
One more thing, the romance atmosphere has to be mantained. Lots of couple become cold. They don't hold hands and never say,' I love you' anymore. Every activities becomes routines only. Some of them even let their children to sleep in the same room with them. That's a big NO NO. So sad :(
I often joke with them when they say they're not the type who shows affections to their couple,"How did you make many kids before, when you say you don't show affection to your spouse?" It's funny. I found out sometimes, they don't even want to try to fix it, their egos play the role. They don't realise, it'll bring bad influence to their children too. The fruit ain't fall far from from its tree.
All marriage is always challenging, between couple, between parents and children, financial etc. But, it's a glorious moment when they can win in every challenge. The good thing after they pass, they can strengthen the other couple and become blessing to the others. I myself have to go though my own trials until I can help my friends who's going through similar phase like me. So, I don't mind to be tested, I know God knows how to make me a better person through problems. He knows my ability, I just surrender myself to Him. There's a scripture say: "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1Corinthian 10:13)
Well, have a blessed and joyful marriage, everyone. You are welcome to share or ask anything. Just give me an email. JBU
Nancy
